


The Note

by WellFuckYouSir



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 17:17:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WellFuckYouSir/pseuds/WellFuckYouSir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my first fic in this fandom, well it’s actually the first I publish. I don’t have a beta so all mistakes are mine. Be nice please, I’m not native speaker. :)</p></blockquote>





	The Note

_Derek,_

_You might be thinking why is my note adressed to you when it should be adressed to my dad or even to Scott. Well, read and you’ll find out._

_Sometimes I feel like I’m that guy that’ s completely useless and he gets asked to do the reseach, the guy that needs to be protected._  
 _Sometimes I feel like I’m just a burden for the pack, that everybody would be better without me._  
 _I get hit, kicked and bashed, I’m fragile and I don’t heal fast because I’m just human. I think that’s what annoys you all, that I refused to take the bite when Peter offered, that I refused to be strong and fast, to be able to protect myself._

_I feel alone because everybody have someone. Before all this I had Scott, well, I didn’t really had him but we were alone together and that was ok, now he has Allison and it’s like I don’t have a best friend anymore. Lydia has Jackson and Erica has Boyd, hell even Isaac has started something with Danny and btw I didn’t know the kid was gay._

_Anyway, that means that he doesn’t need me anymore he wont come through my window and cuddle in my bed waiting for his nightmares to disappear. I think I’m just invited to the pack meetings because I’m Scott’s best friend or at least that’s what you think and probably because you need me there to cook, because, hell, how have you survived if any of you is able to even turn on the microwave? Whoa, I just realised that I’m Xander, you know, the guy in Buffy that is human and is used for research and bringing food. You wont pick that reference but don’t worry about it very much. This is awful, seriously, when did my life turned to this? Oh yeah, when the fucking Alpha bit my best friend, that’s when._  
 _When I started to get beaten, when I started lying to my dad. When everything was just fucked up._   _Everything I’ve been through just make me think if it would have been easier if I just wasn’t here._  
 _The pack wouldn’t have to sneak around all the time to look after me, my dad would be able to go through my mother’s death, I know how much I remind him of her. I’ve heard him rambling about it when he’s drunk as I’ve heard you saying that I’m not pack, that I’m just human and I can’t be pack. But that’s not why I’m not pack, because when I asked, when I asked you about Lydia and Allison, you said they were pack, you said that they were not normal humans like me or any of the kids at school, that’s why you say they are pack. This leads me to where I’m now, writing a fucking note for you, because you will find me but not soon enough to bring me back, because I might be a normal human but I’m damn smart and I’ve run with wolves. Right now, while I’m writing this you are all in a pack meeting, I haven’t been invited to it and you might think you hid it well enough from me but I know, I know about your secret meetings behind my back, altough you don’t really have to tell me about them, as I’m not pack._

_Anyway, as I said, this is my note, the note I’m leaving you so that you can understand why I’m going to do this. In case you are wondering if it has been painfull, I’ll tell you that my researching skills are quite usefull sometimes. I found this poisson, painless and undetectable, it kills you within seconds so, don’t worry, it is like goind to sleep, but forever. This note will be hidden enough so that my father can not find it, it has many secrets that he is not prepared to find out. Jesus, even death I’m taking care of you, fucking wolves._

_Well I think it’s time to say good bye. Tell everybody that’s not their fault, but do not apply that to you, you took me for granted, you thought that you could slam me into walls and tell me I’m not worth it without breaking me. But that has finished, you wont hurt me anymore, neither physically nor phicologically. You know why you could hurt me so much? No, you don’t know, fucking oblivious wolf, because I loved you, I loved you so much and you didn’t notice. Now that everything is over for me I want you to remember what you did to me, I want you to feel gilty every time you see my dad’s sad face, every time you go to visit your family’s graves, every time you watch someone playing lacrosse or doing some research. I want you to feel gilty not only for what you did to your family but also for what you’ve done to me._

 

_Good bye._

_Stiles._

 

_P.s: I love you._

 

As soon as Derek finished reading it, tears started running through his cheeks, he sat on the floor and burried his head on his knees letting himself cry for once in a long time. He had found the letter well hidden, as Stiles had written, he had gone there just after the kid’s funeral, just to inhale his scent once more. A strange smell had caught his attention, something that didn’t belong there, his nose had guided him to the note because Stiles had been smart, maybe too smart for his own good.

That note was the last thing the boy had left, his last words to the world, to him and he felt guilty, so guilty because he could have stopped it, telling Stiles that he was pack, telling him that he was not only pack but the Alpha’s mate and that he loved him, now he had to carry not just the guilt but also the heavy burden of those three words he never told the boy.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in this fandom, well it’s actually the first I publish. I don’t have a beta so all mistakes are mine. Be nice please, I’m not native speaker. :)


End file.
